Equilibrium

I’m old enough. But, not bold enough. Confused about many things, but I’m not naive. I’ve been forfeiting my sleep, just wondering about this abstract, mysterious dreamy thingies. The Future. Nobody knows what is to happened a second later. Lately, I’ve been comprehending the world.

The immense pleasure felt to do things our body, our mind and soul desires is ineffable. There is something about life, something deep, dark and unknown. Something which, if unveiled, can suck out all emotions, happiness and beauty of living, just like a black hole. I believe, everything occurs for a reason. Our actions, thoughts and faiths, everything has a well-defined motive. Subconsciously, I believe, though all the painful lows and dumb highs, somewhere hidden is an incentive. Actually, it’s hard to figure that out. It’s just insane.

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Howling and breathing energy molecules of that air. every instance is still crystal clear. Everything that kills me, makes me want to live even more. The beauty of music is phenomenal.
One gulp. That liquid, as it moved down my throat, burning its way down. It felt distinct. Something I have never experienced before. She blinked. Her eyes. They were watery. A sudden reflex made her shiver for a few nanoseconds. She was losing her balance. Equilibrium is hard to achieve.

What they don’t really know is the truth. ‘Cause, lies don’t take its place. It’s just latent. Sometimes, it’s hard to be right, it’s obvious, because the human race is irrational.

She was classy and graceful. That gulp. It unzipped the body suit. Her second skin. She came out of her womb. A new person got revealed. The inner, hungry, greedy monster gradually acted as a replacement and finally snatched the position altogether. The sensation. The high state. The shiver. It was all new and exciting. A person who never existed, found its way through the crowd and felt her feelings extinguish. Potions and pills. They change a person from the core.

You can’t hide from your past. They forced her. She gave in. She wanted to move on. It was hard. They made it harder. Funny how our voices turn soundless just where and when required, very conveniently. I want to freak out. Live everyday like it’s a vacation. Stay away from the usual. I want to go somewhere exotic, exciting. Meeting unusual strangers and make new stranger-ships, cause probably relationships are too cliché. Find a hottie in the lobby and have a few flings. I want to jump down from the cliff  and scuba-dive and experience the impossible. I want to see sexy beaches and fall in love with nature, all over again. I want to lavish stay at some filthy expensive, luxurious hotel and live high. I want to lose my mind and dance around  like a looney toon.

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Keep no expectations and fly high. High, higher, and still higher, till I reach the sky and then the space. I want to feel breathless and scream, and shine like a star. The future is so uncertain and yet there are a million reasons to not stop. I can’t deny myself the simply extreme pleasures. it’s just all in the mind. And the mind wants what it wants. I can’t compare all this to nothing. Nothing is amazingly hollow. I actually can’t imagine life without ruthless moments breaking me down.

Life is not a dream. It’s pretty bitter reality. It’s not all about happy endings and adorable fairytale moments. 

She said them, their poisonous touch made her hot and now the fever won’t go down, and she hopes she will have a chance to see the beauty of hell. they made her addicted to pain. And she can’t stop herself. That gulp had an effect which had made her high and now that is fading. She would be back to equilibrium though she didn’t desire to.

The state of complete silence was now attained.

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