Posted in ..., Bliss, Changes., Life happenings, randomness, Wha..?

Another Lifetime Away.

It’s seems forever since I last wrote to you. Dear blog, I miss you. I miss the sense of fulfillment I would get from blogging. I miss the happiness and that tiny bulb inside my heart glowing with pleasure, when I was successful in pleasing a person with my blog. I miss sitting a couple of hours online. I miss those days I would simply idly sit around on a rainy afternoon and read just another novel. I miss waking up late and staying awake all night. Oh man, I get nostalgic thinking about that life. That life which existed, it seems, another birth away. Which couldn’t get happier and this day…

This day I’m struggling in everything. It’s like I’m a scrambled egg, and everyone else a serious omelette out there. It’s like am merely an ant and the world is a giant human. Human these days, I swear to god (If it exists. Excuse me, for I’m agnostic.) They seem to be turning in rhesus tribes.

Just sitting and studying all day. That’s what is a life of a 16-years-young  twelfth grader. If only the competition wasn’t so cruel.

If only the ants were treated equally,

and terrorists vanished,

and lions dined on wine,

and life was prettier.

Only then would this tiny world I live in turn into heaven.

Anyways. I’ve wasted your time enough. Let’s just get back to work.

Ciao, Love. Angana.

Posted in Bliss, Changes., Night, randomness, Uncategorized

Silence

3am.

It’s pitch dark outside. I get out of my comfort zone and step into the reality. The balcony pulls me towards it. It’s like the night wants to make love to me, desperately. It’s hunger, and greed is adorable. I stand there. Still. The extreme silence, making me vulnerable, shaking my ground.

No, I’m not scared. I’m just confused.

Or maybe the big, bad, boldness really does scare me. It makes me rethink my entire point of existence.

It makes me ecstatic. it snaps me back to  earth. It tells me to stop being in cloud-9 and so pretty in pink. The silence is beautifully married to an not so occasional rush of air, flowing through my face, tickling my hair, innocently.

The enormity of the planet shows my nullifying presence. I have my own secret talks to the wind. It’s all surreal and I’m simply left to gasp it all. Yeah. Maybe, its gigantic bear-like actions scares me. But it also makes me fall in love with it, even more.

i have my ‘sweet nothings’ moments with the silence. I cry to the silence, the silence lends me a shoulder, and is a great listener. The silence is just like another buddy. A buddy for life. And this friend is incredibly loyal, and causes no tantrums and breakups.

Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but silence is our very own. Continue reading “Silence”

Posted in Bliss, Changes., Mind

Settling Down..

New people, yet again.
Cold and humble inside.
Determined to face it all,
with a smile,
and wash away the blues.

A week passed,
Everything has changed.
Yet really, nothing has.
Puzzling, yet it is the truth,
Give it a break. 'Life's good.'

With time, nothing ever
ever really not changes,
(It all does.)
It's all about perception,
'Just smile.'

A month passed,
Everything on the right 
track, yet really,
Nothing is. (It's all fine.)
Really, just smile.

Bye.
Posted in Bliss, Changes., Mind

Misty Lust

They call it teen crush, some call it a waste of time, oldies -puppies love, i call it infatuation. Every teen has at least once in their entire life, yet, faced that moment of excitement, anger, tension, breakdown, ‘butterflies in the gut’; moment when your person of your dreams stands in front of you.

Maybe you haven’t realised it, until now, at one point, in your childhood, you have crushes too, but they are genderless, unbiased, just the exact definition fulfilment of Love rush. Unconditional love and caring attitude,  for a short duration, not necessarily meaning to end in a relationship. Take these encounters for instance-

  • She was just 11, her class teacher, whom they had never seen before, was yet to arrive. The racket around the class was most common.She sat at the second seat, middle row, short hair and 2 ponytails on either side, forever a smile plastered and often wondering…anonymous. Then that moment arrived. A gorgeous sari on a beautiful women, her hills clicked the floor. A wooden scale by her right hand and a clutch at the left. She was a work of art, flawless, princess-like and a dreamy. The class rapt to attention, the ruler indicated her to be strict, ‘I am your new class teacher, Jyoti. I’ll be teaching you maths and G.K.’ The cute, anonymous girl felt the presence of an angle, she had fallen for her gorgeous teacher. S he now became determined to turn ‘teacher’s pet sorta student student.This was misty, uncertain, unnamed feeling. Later she turned it ‘Lust’.
  • Now the girl has grown to her first teen year, she had changed school, shifted over to a new country. She had grown to be a stunning angle herself. This time it was her first real crush. Wandering around the new school, looking really lost, she missed her friends, the old city of Madras. The school, the malls, even the roads and milkman. Every vibe had given her a reason to smile. Nostalgia was in the air that she breath now. She was uncertain about this place, people here seemed weird. Strange air, everybody had their own  gangs and troops.. she wondered if she could fit in. She wondered if she could ever make friends like the old ones, once again. Deep in thought, she crashed into a tall guy,  he had a basketball which had rolled off, down the corridor, no name, no identity. A casual sorry. She felt  her heart racing, her mind rushing with fantasy. Imagination are a troublesome thing you know.
  • They met again, this time in her new society, she had come out of her house to explore a bit of the neighbour. The guy seems to be an old resident, they met and he  started off, with a casual reminder sorry. He was a year older. Her feelings stayed forever. He never got to know her hazy character. Her lust for him.

Some things never die. And some things never exist.

Unicornish!

Love,

Angana

   Lol. – Lessons of life..

Ever thought how much lifestyle has changed, everything seemed to be ‘new and modernised’. I’m just 15, yet it feels centuries apart. Then it was hide n seek and four pillars, now it’s candy crush and temple run 2. Then it was an evening filled with fun,  meaning Tom ’n’ jerry shows, now it’s all just so changed.

The other day my mom says, ‘Oh! keep quiet, i need some peace’,

and after that i saw her chatting on whatsapp, with people who live on a minute away from her. I went online and had tons of old friends online. I was chatting too. Every conversation began with, ‘Hey, sup? I’m bored.’ My dad says never has  he felt bored all along his lifetime. I laughed it off, ‘that’s impossible.’ Buying clothes, for a party, was a one-day plan. We go shopping, have lunch, shop some more, snacks up with some old roadside chats, come home early by 7. I even remember taking a day off from school just to go and buy a dress for my cousin’s wedding. Now it’s all a click away. From genuinely laughing to LOL and from actually showing love to a 😍  or 💝 emoji, life has shown me tons.

LOL_600X315

Tons of plans made, time for  virtually nothing, countless phone calls day-and-night,  a monotonous routine. After a point, when a elastic limit is reached, we tend to run away, to faraway places. Some other cities, maybe new friends, changing  new jobs. Running,  running all day,  with no displacement. No work done. Breaking physical rules. Demolishing laws and theorems.

One small thing i have understood from life is, it’s like a movie. Different scenes, comedy and tragedy moments etc. Sequels created. Everything seems so real. So true. Yet everything is turning virtual. Nostalgia meant sitting around with long  lost soul mates and thinking about old times. We  take the  words for granted. Now every 2 months, old pic gets a like with comment “Aw..feeling nostalgic.” Social sites aren’t helping much. Thanks to Fb reactions, again.

Long short talk. Sarcasm overloaded. Changes are bound to occur, but not necessarily every step taken is success. Not every milestone is development. An urgent need to loopback, compare and realisation, before it’s too late, is need. Because here is too late and nothing else.